“Why People in China Are Pretending to Get Married: Fake Weddings, Real Pressure”
In China, where marriage is considered the norm—and parental pressure is relentless—some young adults are taking an unusual route: staging fake marriages. These unions aren’t based on romance or legal bureaucracy, but on social expectations and appearances.
Based on the BBC What in the World episode, here’s why someone would pretend to get married—and what it reveals about modern Chinese society.
What the Podcast Uncovered
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In the BBC interview, journalist Wanqing Zhang explores how young Chinese professionals are searching online for a “marriage buddy”—someone to pretend-spouse with during family gatherings, social events, and community check-ins.
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One young woman, Linda, says she agreed to this arrangement to avoid relentless questions from relatives—like “When are you getting married?” and “Why are you single at 30?”
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These friendships offer a social shield: wedding photos, ceremonial roles, and family introductions—all without romantic pressure or legal claims.
Why This Happens: The Cultural Weight of Marriage
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In modern China, the concept of cui hun—parental pressure to marry before age 30—is widespread. Many unmarried urban women feel labeled as “sheng nu” or “leftover women” if they’re still single past that age.
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Although marriage rates are at a historic low, societal stigma remains strong. Registering a marriage—even a pretend one—can ease family expectations, cut through gossip, and restore social peace.
What Friendship Marriage Really Looks Like
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What young people call a friendship marriage is legally recognized as a real marriage—but it’s built on companionship, not romance.
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Partners often live together but maintain separate bedrooms, separate finances, and may still date others legally or emotionally.
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Many sign prenups and “divorce triggers”, allowing either partner to walk away if they later want a romantic marriage.
A Low-Key Industry Behind the Banter
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In one striking case, a woman in Chengdu accepted around 20 wedding gigs over seven years, pretending to be a bride at ceremonial events—but never registering as married.
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She said it was her side business, filling a demand for others who needed a fake wedding photo for family reasons—even though no legal paperwork was filed.
What It Really Reflects: Shifting Values Under Pressure
| Factor | Why It Matters |
|---|---|
| Marriage is still expected | Even if younger adults delay or reject it |
| Housing and financial pressures | Marriage can unlock preferential loan policies |
| Generational conflict | Older generations equate marriage with maturity |
Experts believe friendship marriages are a sign of deeper values shift—prioritizing independence, delays in childbearing, and redefining adulthood. Yet it also underscores the emotional weight of family norms.
@asianbossmedia Have you ever felt pressured by friends or family to tie the knot? If so, you’re not alone. In fact, many people in Asian countries like China can relate to this experience. So what do Chinese consider to be the ideal age for marriage? We hit the streets of Shanghai to find out. Follow @asianbossmedia for more interesting insights from Asia! #age #marriage #china #shanghai #pressure #90skids #asia #asianboss ♬ original sound – Asian Boss
Not for Love, But for Peace
In today’s China, marriage is more than a personal milestone—it’s a social battleground.
These pretend weddings may appear whimsical—but behind each staged “I do” is a person reclaiming agency while still bowing to tradition.
More importantly, they remind us:
When societal statues can’t bend, innovation finds a way—even if that means marrying a friend to fool a generation.
